not a happy story . i think [??]

Title what is it?
very extreme hearing, how else would run out? That's why reality. actually , this article is already long exist in the folder my laptop , but only now i dare to post it ..

i have a sister , and she was once my enemy . hoho . Pathetic yaa? the sister who should be a partner or maybe even become our friends is our competitors. O my Gosh!

certainly not the enemy in the truest sense, only be a rival to gain sympathy from my father ..

I want to tell you about her, she's just below me, her age is approximately 2 years below me, but all that is in itself far above me. Beautiful, intelligent, leadership ..
Really makes me jealous ! as the first child, i certainly don't want to be defeated by my sister . Wrong?!

Sometimes I feel life is totally unfair, all the good in my sister, but that bad ? Complete in I,.
wanted, really wanted to sue God .. but will never be until whenever.Which in the end, I do have to accept this as my destiny ..
don’t be mistaken I don’t have an obsession for beating her, I even obsession is ..
not yet produced results too ..
I really want to make a father proud of me, praise me just once ..
but it seems once again I have to swallow disappointment, because it is impossible.

Because whatever I do, will not be seen as a father. Because my father always thought that I was wrong ! I really have let him down ..When I said I wanted to go FISIP-UI, I hope there is support for me, but what I can? Again, only a disappointment, because my father with me down easy it will make my !
Frankly, I hurt .. really hurt ! But where would my father understand ? All he wanted was just more than I can my sister, always comparing, sarcastic..

Patience .. be patient diyah..
And I really wish my father knew, that the ability of every person is different ..
can not be imposed simply ..

Wrong? I ask you , what am I wrong ?

I was really confused ..

What are my expectations were too grandiose for granted?

So often compare my dad at my sister, my heart to make immune from the pain.. I’m really tired of born-inner .. everything the way I did to open the eyes of the heart father, so at least he appreciates what I got, but I think God was testing me to not grant my expectations.

i finally began to make peace with his own destiny with my luck, with all the circumstances of my life

I'm getting used to being the second, starting customary smile made for defeat, but I'm not a loser,. i was awarded the reason for me to think, i hope to one day it will come true..

Today, I really focus to achieve success, to achieve a string of pride of the father, hopefully this time, God willing to grant it. Amiiiiinnn ...

**when I was very tired 14082009